Comments: Alexandra Parks' very own Gladiator, Martin Egan has etched his name in AP cricketing folklore with his fearless approach to batting. In recent times he has led AP to historic victories, most notably during season
2002 where in fading light, a wet pitch, 8 wickets down, no horse, and countless barbarian calthorpe hordes he guided his team home to maximum points and the glory of of rome.

He is also responsible for single-handedly (his left hand becoming bloodied and damaged in earlier exchanges) destroying an opposing team by scoring a half-century with only one hand.

The man epitomises the spirit and glory of AP, nowhere more so than in his cutting remarks to opponents. Legendary sledging remarks to opposing bowlers include:
"Bowlers should know when they have been conquered", and "Don't worry if you find yourself in Elysium, for you are already dead, you have been hit for six, and your fielders can't find the ball."

"A true leader of men, a fantasy of all north london women, an inspiration to us all"
-Julius Caeser, Emperor of Rome

Favourite Quote: "What we do in life and at the batting crease, lasts an eternity

Comments: Going in first or seventh, wearing whites with the drawstring in the pants missing, GP Ebbott is the symbolic heart of AP’s steamrolling drinking agenda and the most exhilarating cricketer of the modern age. He is simultaneously a cheerful throwback to more innocent times, a dim-witted city boy who didn’t walk when given out in a game against British Airways (instead choosing to steal a few pint glasses from the nice bar after the game), and swatted his second ball for one while sitting on a pair against GWR 2nd XI. "Just hit the f&*?ing c*%$ of a thing," is how he once described his philosophy on batting, however he seldom seems able to. Employing a handle on the grip, he pokes at good balls and often misses, and throttles all others, invariably with head looking up to the sky, wrists soft and balance shaky. Only at the death does he jettison the textbook, whirling his bat like a hammer-thrower, caring not for the scoreboard but only for his average. Still he manages 15 runs per innings more than Ali Wilson, at a tempo – 8.2 per 100 balls in Tests, 9.4 in one-dayers - that makes Shalim Salam and Dave Crank look like stick-in-the-muds. When he signed a record A$2million sponsorship deal with a sock manufacturer in 2004, a lot of people questioned the need to waste money on this man as his feet actually stink quite a lot after a few games of cricket over a month or two without washing them. Indeed it was arguably Ebbott’s belated AP arrival that turned the present Sunday XI from bearable to overbearing. He hacked 1 on debut, dropped five catches and threw a five overthrow, and has barely paused for breath since. In Tests, two Ebbott innings rank among the most amazing by Australians: his death-defying unbeaten 17 (off 38 overs…true) against Indian Gymkhana at the Racecourse when all seemed lost, and his savage and emotional 7 (bowled around the legs) against those “Pommie and other miscellaneous bastards” in the “Hemisphere” game after coming in at number 3 whilst at the bar pouring himself a pint just as Ben Boccabella was out LBW to a full toss 1 st ball of the innings. In one-dayers, his 23 is one short of Mark Campbell’s proud AP record and his overall number of one-day career “sledging batsmen outs” might take decades to top. A keen player and student of spoons, his 2004 AP Tour Diary - was miles superior to Derrick Cordy’s and Dave Lea's meat-and-three-veg versions as it gave the dirt on Bose’s behaviour on and off the field. As Australia's 1st Tour “non-homosexual” he found the extra burden tiring, and was happy for Randy Reid to step in. As a bowler he lacks Dan Buckley's histrionics and Nigel Bagley's finesse and loopy loops, and he probably peaked at 14 in 1990. But if he doesn’t get a wicket he will abuse the batsman in an effort to upset his day and hopefully his evening after the cricket is well and truly finished. Eventually his jangling bits might tempt him to give up tossing the balls and move up the order as a specialist batsman - he was the first to drink the apparently traditional “duck beer” (vodka, beer and other bits and pieces from the bar, thanks for that drink Ali, almost made me blind) after being the only person to make a duck in a mid week tour game at the Racecourse Ground (zero not out to be precise). But tomorrow can wait.