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IT'S OFFICIAL … DAMO
IS ITALIAN!
 Well
I’ve just sat back and watched the Aussies
get dicked again by an English squad containing 11
players, some ring-in called Pratt and a couple of
mysteriously influential chaps named Dar and Bucknor!
 Its about now where I start to think I will have
more joy declaring myself as an Italian rather than
suffering the indignity of an Ashes failure.
 At
least the Aussies decided to give Shaun Tait a go… it
didn’t quite go to plan, but
at least they made a change. One now wonders why
they can’t apply similar changes to an underperforming
batting line up.
Credit again must go to the Poms for outplaying
the Aussies on the important 1st and 2nd days,
compiling a big opening day score effectively putting
the Aussies out of the game and then routing them
in reply to take the threat of bad weather out of
the equation.
 However,
as good a win it was, one must emphasise the effect
those little buggers in white overcoats had on the
game. Glaring errors again to Martyn and Katich,
as well as giving that little half Aussie keeper
of yours a life and going on to make another 50 before
the reality that he couldn’t bat set in. Even
Ponting’s dismissal in the 1st innings wasn’t
out upon closer inspection.
 I
find it intriguing when analysing the fines issued
to Ponting and Katich. They basically worked their
guts out  for 4 days and get docked between 50%-75%
of their pay for a few rightfully earned swear words,
but Aleem Dar and Steve Bucknor get full pay for
standing in 4 of the 5 days and giving some of the
most horrendous decisions of all time. They can’t
even assist in getting the over rate to an acceptable
level (although they could actually call all the
missed no balls and extend it out further!)
At least the 4 th test was played true to form…
- The
English have been making handy starts with the
bat
- Mathew Hayden couldn’t hit a beach ball
if it was under-armed to him
- Kevin Pietersen couldn’t catch the said
beach ball if under-armed to him
- Geraint Jones is the worst keeper to have ever
played the game (I’m serious… I challenge
anyone to come up with a contender!)
- Umpires continue to make poor decisions
- Those bloody bails won’t fall off when
the ball hits them
- Brett Lee hits big sixes
IS IT TIME TO DO AWAY
WITH UMPIRES?
Apologies to Chris Wilson, Charles Tallamy and
the evergreen Jack Hyams, but I think its time to
seriously evaluate the impact umpires have on games
and the ability to use technology to make them hat
and jumper holders.
Surely the spate of missed no balls
and dodgy LBW decisions gives credence to the implementation
of the 3rd umpire for all LBW adjudications? Why
can we get 100% accuracy on run outs, stumpings and
catches carrying but are happy to accept around 50%
success rate on leg before? With the heightened coverage
of the game and gambling stakes riding on it, is
anything less than 100% acceptable? I’ll leave
it to you all to mull over in the next few years
then, shall I?
5th TEST – WHAT HAPPENS…
 When
the pundits look back on the series it will only
be decided by a small margin, that 2 run 2nd test
victory to England, the Aussies clinging on to a
narrow draw in the 3rd and then another close result
overnight in the 4th.
I am confident that the Aussies have got what it
takes to find form at the right time and bring the
Ashes back home.
Despite performing horribly all
tour, we were only a couple of runs away from having
the 2nd test in the bag and nearly fought back from
being asked to follow on for an unlikely victory.
Expect a little bit of national pride to be shown
at The Oval and few fragile Pommy hearts to be broken
over what might have been.
I’m looking forward to the selection table
discussions, as now is the time to punt out Hayden.
He’s been out of form for 18 months and Mike
Hussey has been waiting patiently for his chance
to shine and this might be the opportune time. Hopefully
Glen McGrath will overcome a crook elbow to make
the team.
[It appears that Italians whinge
more than Poms. Fancy that - Ed]
Damien Devola, LhB (Aus)
Email Damo
[Damo's
views are not necessarily those of APCC and are
probably just the result of too many tinnies
in the midday sun. MB]
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